


Two Petals

by smol_sophic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pre-Kerberos Mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 03:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11980692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smol_sophic/pseuds/smol_sophic
Summary: Shiro falls for his best friend and roommate Matt but he's afraid of ruining the best friendship he'd ever had, so he just sits back suffering, and he ends up catching Hanahaki disease.





	Two Petals

When did he fall for his best friend? Shiro hadn’t the slightest idea. He didn’t know how, when, where, but at some point he’d started feeling warmth spread through his chest whenever they touched. Whenever his friend laughed it made him feel fluttery and he couldn’t hold back a smile to save his life. He craved spending time together, just existing in the same place as his best friend made him happier, made him feel safe and comfortable. His eyes filled with light with every glance at his friend, at his messy head of soft brunette hair, at his golden caramel eyes, his glasses that made his freckles visible only if you were looking close enough, which Shiro always was. Each dimpled smile, each stupid joke and crazy antic they did together nurtured his love for this boy, and it grew more every day. Out of respect for Matt though, he kept it hidden. Never spoke of how he felt, because this friendship was too marvelous to lose. How Shiro felt his friend was sent to shatter his reality. How he spent endless nights smiling to himself thinking back on what they did that day, recollecting to the sound of his soft snoring in the bed across their shared room and thinking of ways to make him smile the next day. How this boy could outshine the morning sky, the sun, the moon, the stars. He was his rock, keeping him in place like a perfect paper weight. The weight though, grew more intense as he kept it hidden. It grew more painful, exponentially so, every single moment. 

Shiro’s heart began to ache whenever he was with Matt. His emotions began expressing themselves through true physical pain. He was shifted from his spot as a pining friend into something different. Something that make him uncomfortable no matter where he was, that made him hurt and hurt without any grace periods. Stress from mundane things was made to seem heavier than before, weighing him down, and there was no way he could go on forever like this. So, he took up studying obsessively. It gave him something else to focus on, something other than his best friend and roommate who definitely didn’t reciprocate the romantic feelings he held. Every time this thought crossed his mind he studied harder, concentrating on forgetting the suffocating pressure in his lungs that only bloomed grander with every passing minute. 

Matt tried getting him to take breaks, utilizing his sweet soft voice and crooked smile, melting Shiro’s defenses and getting him to eat and drink every now and again. It was never enough to keep him functioning normally though. The pressure in Shiro’s chest persisted nevertheless, and he couldn’t tell if it was his splintering heart or his unhealthy habits. He could feel himself falling apart with each day he went unnourished, but that didn’t matter. This year was going to be his hardest academically, so he had a real need to study this hard anyways. 

Shiro woke up in a daze. His throat burned, he could hardly breathe, his back cramped painfully as he sat up from his hunched position. He’d fallen asleep at his desk again, the clock in front of him reading 3:46 AM in neon green light that made him ill. Shiro couldn’t breathe, his jaw fell open trying to suck in as much air as possible but it only irritated his throat and he gagged and heaved all the way to the bathroom. The harsh overhead light made his eyes hurt and his head ache terribly. The person in the mirror looked like a ghost, pale with eyes blown wide in fear. He looked like complete shit, and felt even more so. This was all an accumulation of his new addiction to distracting himself from Matt and he knew it. An accumulation of avoiding his best friend in favor of destroying his body. He doubled over into the sink and gasped for air but all he did was cough, and cough, and cough until something came out to splatter across the porcelain. There was no time to process what it was as he wheezed and slipped to the floor, knocking his head against the tiles and letting the pain wash over like a stream, and carry him out of his conscious state. 

Someone was knocking, someone was calling his name, and that’s what finally woke Shiro up. The first thing he did was recognize the voice as Matt’s. The second thing he did was blame himself for the worried tone it had. Shiro bolted up against the protesting of every inch of his body, and called out best he could that he was fine. His voice was raspy, hoarse and scratchy, and all he hoped was that Matt would write it off as a side effect of waking up too early. Something in the sink caught Shiro’s eye, and he let it take his attention once he heard Matt’s padded footsteps fade away. The sink was filled with red, sticking to the wet surface and spotting the white with blood. Except, it wasn’t blood upon further inspection. Shiro stared in terror at the rose petals decorating his sink. Covered in drying saliva, snot, and tears, they sat in there place and petrified him. 

“Hey Shi, I’m gonna go to breakfast, meet me at our table when you’re done,” Matt informed him gently, muffled by the door between them. Shiro hoped he sounded normal in his response but there was no telling while those petals were taking up all his brain power. Bold red painted across a smooth white, the most intense cerise he’d ever seen. This wasn’t from all those sleepless nights, days gone without eating, he knew now what that pressure in his chest was and it made anxiety spike and clutter his brain. He couldn’t get himself to think of anything else other than the fact his fate was just sealed. And Shiro was going to die. 

Shiro didn’t meet Matt for breakfast. Instead he stayed in his room all day panicking, trying to find a solution like he always was good at but this time it was impossible. There was one solution that had crossed his mind, but he hadn’t the courage to do it. It was most likely too late anyways. He didn’t know much about this disease but he did know enough to give him a panic attack. And he also knew he couldn’t just go to the nurse. If they cured him Matt would be erased from his mind, and that scared him more than death. The world started closing in as he paced his room, suddenly the choking came back, and he couldn’t breathe again. So panic triggered these fits, at least he knew that, but it was useless information when it only had him panic more as he watched delicate petals fall to the floor as he hawked and reeled. 

He cleaned up the petals once he’d caught his breath, flushing them down the toilet, and sat down at his desk. He threw himself into his textbook, his notetaking, his memorizing. He shaked like a dead leaf, his breathing was erratic, he was frazzled and in shock, but he just ignored it all and concentrated all his energy on understanding these formulas. Soon all classes were over, soon Matt came back to their room and was hit with a sickly floral smell and his best friend in a broken hunch over his desk. Each time he tried to make conversation his was pushed away, so eventually he left to visit another friend. Eventually Matt started keeping his distance from Shiro. He hoped it would drive Shiro to come after him and tell him what was wrong, but all it did was cause a rift in their friendship. Days blended into weeks, blending into months. Matt hardly spent any time with Shiro, and that was exactly what he wanted. Shiro decided he wanted to drive his friend away, so that his eventual death wouldn’t hurt him. It was already too late to admit his feelings, he told himself every day and asphyxiated that glimmer of hope that told him to tell Matt everything to save his own life. This was his solution, and he would stick with it. He committed to it even if it killed him faster to do it. 

Shiro was alone now. His other friends were those he met through Matt, and they were ignoring him too now. At least if he was alone no one would be sad when this disease finally took him. He pushed away from everyone, his teachers, acquaintances, friends, family. He isolated himself to the point where he could go all day without speaking, he could go several days without true social interaction, and even if that was a success it still hurt him more than the disease. Until two months later, months of isolation and avoidance, when he was cleverly cornered by Matt who’d had enough, and his friend demanded an explanation through pained eyes.

“Why are you doing this, Takashi?” Matt asked firmly, voice strained from the emotional distress he was clearly under. Shiro didn’t answer, his focus was solely on not triggering another coughing fit, keeping everything contained until he could break free and let loose alone. It hurt so much to hear Matt hurting like this, but it was necessary. In Shiro’s clouded mind this was the right thing to do, hurt Matt to save him. He believed his fate was sealed and that nothing could bring him back from the brink he’d been driven to, and he couldn’t let the love of his life fall off the edge too, so this was mandatory pain to save Matt from so much more. 

Shiro choked when he heard coughing where his back was turned. Matt’s glasses hit the floor and Shiro turned around to see a terrible sight. Tears poured from those golden caramel eyes, hands clasped over Matt’s mouth as he tried to breathe but soft petals blocked the air from his lungs. Some had escaped and fluttered to the floor though, a sickly vibrant vermillion, the sight making Matt gag and choke even more. They both stared wide eyed at each other, attempting to process the situation. Something crawled up Shiro’s throat, causing him to cough again involuntarily and three dark red petals floated to sit aside the others on the ground. Matt watched them fall with wet eyes, blinking at them as if expecting the petals to disappear like a dream. He let his hands drop to his sides and locked eyes with Shiro. They both knew exactly what this meant, but were too shellshocked to say anything.

So instead of talking, Matt stepped forward, flattening petals under his shoes and stepping over his fallen glasses, he threw his arms around his friend’s neck in a tight embrace. He buried his face in the crook of Shiro’s neck, muffling his relieved laughter and hiding his tears. Shiro couldn’t manage to do anything but hug back. He was paralyzed by the realization that his best friend reciprocated his feelings to the point where he’d caught Hanahaki too. He felt warmth in his chest again, and the warmth of Matt’s body flush against his, the most warmth he’d felt in too long. Shiro felt right again, he sensed the weight lift off his shoulders, and suddenly it became easier to breathe. Matt looked up at him, and they breathed deeply, clearly. For the first time in months they could breathe properly, the pressure in their lungs faded each moment they smiled into each other’s bright eyes. 

“We’re fucking idiots,” Matt laughed as Shiro used his sleeve to wipe a tear from his friend’s freckled cheek. 

“Yeah,” Shiro exhaled through a smile. “Matt I’m, so incredibly sorry.” He looked downcast as he apologized, averting eye contact in shame. 

“You better be, what the hell made you think pushing me away was the best idea?”

“I just.. There was a lot going on, I’m sorry Mattie.” Matt touched a hand to Shiro’s cheek, which brought their eyes back to meet again. 

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have let you push me away.”

“No, none of this is your fault.”

“It’s just as much my fault as it is yours, Shi.”

“Matt, this is all because of me,” Shiro tried taking on all the blame for everything that happened the last few months, but he was cut off by a pair of soft lips crashing into his own. It took maybe a few second too long for him to realize that Matt had hopped up on his tiptoes to shut Shiro up with a kiss, but when he did he rushed to kissed back with a smile. The light floating feeling returned many times stronger than it was before, and the warmth too, along with the familiar smell of his best friend filling his head and making Shiro feel loopy. He held Matt tighter, pulling him closer, and felt too overwhelmed to continue but still couldn’t bring himself to stop kissing. It seemed to last for so long, making up for all the lost time they’d spent pining and hurting for each other. It was an eternity before Matt broke the kiss just as quickly as he started it. 

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “Stop hogging all the blame, we both did something wrong.” Shiro smiled and chuckled with him, and nodded to agree. He stared, lips stretched in a huge grin, at Matt for a while after that. Not knowing what to say, if he should say anything, Shiro just blurted the first thing that came to mind when he looked into those beautiful eyes.

“God, I love you.” 

They both couldn’t help but gasp when they realized what he’d said. Shiro hadn’t meant to say it at all, he just did, he hadn’t much control of his emotions lately and this was no exception. He regretted it immediately as Matt stared back at him silent. It was obvious the gears in his head were turning, he was trying to think of the proper response but, there wasn’t any. Shiro stepped back and was about to start fumbling over himself to apologize but then Matt said something, Something he didn’t quite catch the first time as he his thoughts were loud and crowding his head.

“I love you too.” Matt flashed his crooked smile up at Shiro, and all the regret melted away. Shiro grabbed his friend’s face and kissed him once again, who kissed back just as hard, and suddenly everything felt more right than it ever did.


End file.
